How To Encourage Your Child's Confidence & Independence

Ok parents, I have to ask… Does anyone else feel like they have to do it all? 

I know how quickly I used to get exhausted from the long list of household chores, outdoor activities and other expected parenting to-dos that never seem to end. And ideally, your child will eventually help you with these – but not just yet. 

Typically in the early days when your little one helps out around the house, you end up doing even more work — erratic sweeping, soapy cleaning, messy organizing. Sound familiar? As you struggle to find the balance between teaching and letting them figure things out on their own, you often wonder if there's a happy medium.

As a fellow parent, I know we all want our kids to turn into happy, confident adults. Yet when our kids are little, it’s difficult to know how to foster this confidence — like preschoolers, for example, aren’t particularly good at doing anything alone.

So here are a few age-appropriate ways you can support your little one’s budding independence (without adding to your workload).

Help Around The House

Yes, there IS a way to do this without making more work for yourself — because chores are part of everyone’s lives. So start by encouraging your child to help out with small, fun tasks. Simple jobs like matching socks, setting the table, pouring milk (use a child-sized pitcher), making a sandwich or toast, sorting recyclables, watering plants and choosing their own clothes are all tasks that your little one can do. 

You can even combine these household chores with developmental activities to increase their effectiveness, like sorting coloured laundry. This particular chore will help your child begin to differentiate between colours while garnering independence and helping you out simultaneously.

Remember that the chores might not be done perfectly, but your child will feel valued like a grown up as they take the lead and help out.

Go Outside

Engaging with nature is a great way to foster independence because it doesn’t have as many rules as indoors. Even little children can explore, create on their own and make messes without consequences in the great outdoors. Here, it's up to them to decide what they want to do and watch the natural consequences of those actions unfold. 

Children also start to learn about responsibility and the basic facts of life outdoors. For example, when you don’t water a plant, it doesn’t grow; when you trample a seedling, it dies; when you plant a seed, it grows. As your child learns more and more about the natural world, they’ll gain confidence. 

Be A Cheerleader

Whenever possible, focus on being your child's cheerleader, and not a director. Research shows that even very young children feel good about themselves when they succeed in a task that they've chosen for themselves. So let your child take the lead during play and craft time, or allow them to decide how they want to clean up their toys. When you let your child work towards their own goal, they’ll take more pride in its completion, and they’re less likely to ask, “Did I do okay?”

Now, of course, your little one will likely need support from you for some time, but focus on empowering them to make their own decisions instead of telling them what to do. Soon, you’ll see your child’s little eyes light up when they figure it out on their own.